Lorenz Crunchips - Winner!
B69, 175g.
The right blend of salty, greasy and crispy, this tastes like the very first chip you had as a young thing, before all the others that came after ruined everything for you. This will be an enduring love for you to enjoy on the couch.
Kettle - First Runner Up.
B45/56g.
The cowboy of chips, this man farang (get it?) from America is robust (thickly-sliced, greasy and munchable) and chivalrous (non-GMO, no artificial anything). A bit unsustainable for your wallet, it’s still an amazing, albeit brief, affair to remember.
Lay’s Classic - Second Runner Up.
B28/85g.
For those who prefer their romances less whirlwindy and more sober (though no less life-changing), this is a great choice, not to mention more widely available than Lorenz. Although it’s a little less salty, and a little more greasy, it’s still as classic as a Ken doll, and very much the couch companion a potato chip should be.
Pringles - Yuck!
B22/40g.
This is the kind of chip your mom would surely approve of. A respectable, mustachioed option, it also happens to be the worst of the bunch. Akin to an old piece of paper, the Pringles chip is stale, bland and feels like it’s been dipped in dust.
Tasto
B29/90g.
Remember when you ran into your high school love and dated them briefly as an adult? This is sort of like that. You re-live the good stuff—the subtle flavor, the adequate crispness, the affordability. But you know so much more about the world now (and make more money). Your standards have changed forever. Keep looking.
Walkers
B49/35g.
A sensible rebound chip we wouldn’t blame you for binging out on. It’s delicious and fulfilling; but pretty soon you’ll be unable to ignore the slightly overcooked taste, anemic appearance and the slow buildup of grease in your throat. Not-too-sadly, you’ll have your fill and go your separate way.
Lay’s Stax
B19.50/40g.
Part of Lay’s gluten-free line, it is starchy, resembles bad skin, tastes like cardboard and leaves us wondering why it was ever invented. Like that subtly annoying date with crazy dietary restrictions who took you to see empty rooms at some esoteric gallery, this chip is boring and elicits what we like to call the Arai Wa Effect.
