One of Singapore’s most talented theater directors, 35-year-old Goh Boon Teck is most well-known for his award-winning play Titoudao, which recently ended its month-long run at the Drama Centre.

What is your current state of mind?
I am trying to stop the global warming winter syndrome by sleeping without air-con, so please join in before Singapore sinks under sea level. I am also planning a campaign to stop all my friends from giving birth, as my house is filled with baskets of red eggs already! I must work crazily hard because I am retiring at 40, which is five years from now.

What did you want to be when you grew up?
A tenor. But I am tone deaf. A writer. But everything I write is toxic. A painter. But I hate turpentine. A swimmer. But I only float. A politician. But I don’t look good in white. So I am a theater backstage crew for now.

What is your biggest achievement?
I can be actively talking one minute and falling asleep the next.

What inspires you?
Women! Like my neighborhood aunties who wrap themselves in tight, floral print tops. Like my one million lesbian friends and their unimaginable gung fu skills. Like my good friend Beatrice Chia-Richmond.

What personal trait do you appreciate the most in others?
Singaporeans who can go on a diet.

Do you have a cause or do you support one?
I support the tissue paper art installations in most hawker centers.

Which living person do you admire most and would like to invite for dinner?
Kim Jong-il. I must get fashion styling tips from him during dinner.

What are you reading?
Catherine Lim’s Curse Of The Golden Formula, Joshua Benjamin Jeyaretnam’s One Last Dance, Zoe Tay’s The Queen (just kidding!), the NAC annual report and, ahem, I-S Magazine.

How do you spend your Sunday mornings?
Going to the temple with my parents before eating at a Chinese restaurant.

What is your idea of hell?
The Ang Mo Kio bus interchange.

What is your guilty pleasure?
Maggie ketchup with anything. I also wake up at 6am to help the snails under my block to cross the pedestrian path. Very therapeutic and enlightening. 

What do you collect?
Dust. It’s never-ending—even after cleaning day after day.

Where would you like to live?
Okinawa. Full of collagen, longevity and hibiscus tea.

What is your favorite item of clothing?
My extra large smile.

What accessory sets you apart?
My bald head, which is quite popular.

What about you scares others?
When I ask people to do 5,000 things at one time.

If you had to play a character in a movie, which movie and which character?
I wish that I was Nemo, but I’m more Shrek.

What did you believe at 18 that you wish you still believed now?
That all Singaporeans love the arts.