Woodstock Bar & Grill

In our younger days, our bodies pulsing with hormones, we’d get these uncontrollable urges that could only be satisfied with a trip to one of Bangkok’s notorious red-light districts. We knew it wasn’t a healthy fixation, but unlike now we weren’t in the habit of denying ourselves pleasures like the hamburgers at Woodstock in Nana Plaza. And it wasn’t just us. Their burgers were named tops in town by at least one publication, and even respectable women were willing to walk the neon gauntlet of mermaids, errant ping pong balls, rotating stages and ladies with strangely large Adam’s apples for a beefy slice of heaven. Plus the bar had an amazing collection of records, mostly classic rock but other kinds of music, also. Well, music is still a priority at the “new” Woodstock, but now the tracks come from a digital jukebox. There are still Pink Floyd, Van Morrison and The Band posters, but now they’re in shiny new frames, like at the Hard Rock Cafe. The old Woodstock had character, which is a nice way of saying it was a bit of a dump. This one is brand new, with expertly laid brick, polished tile and wood beams, and the owners obviously spent a bundle. On the ground floor of the shophouse is the main restaurant-pub, pool tables are on the second floor, and a room devoted to watching sports is on the third. In the works are guest rooms—a “boutique hotel,” no less—and a rooftop bar. So, Woodstock has cleaned up nicely. The menu is fairly extensive, what you’d call pub food in the UK and diner food in the US: soups, sandwiches, fish ‘n’ chips, steaks, Cajun, Mexican and, of course, burgers, for an all-day breakfast or a sandwich for a 400g Argentine t-bone. The staff are very nice, and we appreciate the effort that has gone into the dishes. But the food, at least on this night, was disappointing. For example, the Buffalo wings were on the greasy side and strangely served with bland ranch dressing instead of the traditional blue cheese. And biscuits and gravy, that under-appreciated American truckstop delicacy, came with a tasty sauce spiced up with chorizo-like sausage, but the biscuits it covered were impenetrable to the point that you didn’t so much cut into them with a knife but chisel chunks off them. As for the burgers, there are at least 15 on the menu. On the overly ambitious side is the heart-stopping Black n’Da Blues burger, a bun-less chunk of meat stuffed with blue cheese and then topped with grilled onions and gravy. It sounds like a mess and it was, but our real beef was that it was overcooked and way, way too salty. Can’t say much for the accompanying fries, either, which were soggy and tepid. To be fair to the cook we chose something simpler, but the basic burger, with jack cheese, was also a salty hockey puck. Yuck. We’re happy for the fancy new Woodstock, but can we have the old burgers back? Corkage 70cl. bottle B650, 1ltr. bottle B750, wine B400.