All the chocolate bars in Bangkok’s 7-Elevens ranked from worst to best

You need to read this.

By BK Staff

17 October, 2016 Bangkok time

25. Sanghai Chocolate Covered Wafers (B15)

Basically a shit KitKat, this shocking excuse for a chocolate bar is the kind of thing your mom would sneak into your lunch box instead of a proper KitKat. For B15 you get about a thousand of these things, but even that can’t save it from a serious chocolate bar taste-test ass-kicking.

24. Alfie Cookies & Cream (B10)

Hershey’s Cookies & Cream is an amazing chocolate bar (which you’ll be seeing listed much later), making the disappointment of this pretender even harder to swallow than its candlewax-like chocolate. Stick with the original.

23. Black Thunder (B15)

You have to love any chocolate bar that sounds like a pornstar, even one that tastes like a mashup of any old crap left knocking about the kitchen. We think there’s some biscuit, we don’t have a clue what makes it black, and we're struggling to think why anyone would buy this other than that name.

22. United Almond (B10)

This one looks like something your nan would buy. If she ever offers you a piece, don't take it. The dark chocolate turns to a paste in your mouth, while the almonds it covers are like shriveled peas.

21. Glico Twotone Milk & Matcha (B10)

We love a lot of things about Japanese desserts. We love their creamy take on cheesecake. We love those flobbery doughballs called mochi. We love that they consider "milk" a flavor. But, please, leave green tea out of our chocolate.

20. Dairy Milk Fruit & Nuts (B24)

There’s another fruit & nut bar in this competition (see #12) and it completely blew this bar out of the water. Dairy Milk hasn’t mastered the balance between cocoa and sugar, always erring on the too-sweet side. Plus, we could hardly find any fruit.

20. Alfie Milk Chocolate (B10)

Alfie strikes again. When Hershey's is the better of two chocolate options, you know you're doing something seriously wrong.

19. KitKat Chunky (B25)

We’d give this one more credit if it didn’t call itself a KitKat.

18. KitKat Matcha (B35)

The only acceptable time to buy these things is at Osaka airport when you’ve forgotten gifts for the office. At the 7-Eleven counter? No way. There are just too many good chocolates around, like, say, a chocolate-flavor KitKat.

17. Kinder Bueno White (B35)

Now we're getting somewhere. Everything about the Kinder brand is so quaintly European you can’t not love it. Eating this super-sweet, vaguely nutty concoction feels like playing a game of topfschlagen on top of an Alp while wearing lederhosen. The taste might be a bit bland and the filling mostly air, but who cares? Yodelay-hee-hoooo!

16. Toblerone White Chocolate (B29)

While we’re in a Euro state of mind… Toblerone enters the race mid-league with its Alpine triangles of sweet nougat goodness. Wearing its B29 price tag with pride, this is the closest thing to luxury you can get at 7-Eleven.

15. Hershey's Cookies & Chocolate (B32)

Not to be confused with the superior Hershey's Cookies & Cream, which tastes way better. Still, eating any Hershey's feels like being a kid from an American movie from the '80s. So we like it.

14. Van Houten Milk Chocolate (B30)

There’s something about the texture here that just isn’t right. Is it chalky? Is it rubbery? Who really cares—it's a chocolate bar sans any of the fancy stuff, so it gets our nod.

13. Glico Chokola Almonds (B25)

Inside a packet that looks like a Disney Princess designed it is that good-old, super-sweet taste of convenience store dark chocolate. Four to a pack just ain't enough.

12. Van Houten Fruit & Nuts (B30)

Despite the occasional nut hard enough to crack diamond, this is one of the few nut-based chocs at Seven which we can get down with: sour fruit, milk chocolate that’s more chocolate than milk, and plenty of texture.

11. Cadbury Black Forest (B33)

For those of you who don’t know what Black Forest gateau is, it’s a chocolate, cherry and cream cake that tastes literally nothing like this chocolate bar. That doesn’t stop us loving it though. Cadbury basically takes a bunch of gummy sweets and biscuit then glues them together with sweet milk chocolate. Delish!

10. Hershey’s Milk Chocolate (B32)

The third best out of the four plain milk chocolate bars in this test. See what we wrote about Hershey's at no. 15 then factor in that this bar tastes better.

9. Kinder Bueno (B35)

The cookie to chocolate proportion is perfect, with each pocket of gooey chocolate oozing a delicious hazelnut mush when you bite into it. You'll have eaten the whole thing before you know it.

8. Hershey's Cookies & Cream (B32)

Admitting you like white chocolate more than dark chocolate is not OK in public. Part of the reason there's no byline on this story is because of this thing doing so well.

7. Meiji Milk Chocolate (B24)

Second from the top spot for plain bar chocolate are these bite-sized morsels from Meiji—dense, with a powerful dose of cocoa and not too sweet. The type of candy you could eat way too many of.

6. Kit Kat Original (B23)

Everything about this is just so iconic. The crunch of the bar. The airy wafers. The smooth chocolate (take note #25).

5. Toblerone Chocolate (B29)

Now we're getting down to the proper crack cocaine bars. The kind of chocolate that you finish before getting to the counter and have to give the cashier an empty wrapper instead. While holding your head in shame and avoiding eye contact.

4. Van Houten Dark Chocolate with Almonds (B30)

This thing looks so posh it brings out our inner foodie git as the smooth, cocoa-rich chocolate gives way to the clean snap of a perfectly roasted almond. Sorry, we'll stop talking now.

3. Milo Choco Bar (B20)

OK, here we can redeem ourselves with this chocolate bar of the people—a no-nonsense, super-sweet milk chocolate hit whose ingredients include "palm kernel fat" before they do cocoa. You've just got to love that occasional sharp crunch of a grain of sugar that didn't quite make it through the melting process. Top tip: feed it to your children for extra soccer-playing strength.

2. Snickers (B25)

The crunch from the peanuts. The softness of the caramel. The stickiness of the nougat. Snickers bars are so badass they still get away with branding themselves as a legitimate answer to your hunger woes.

1. Reese's Nut Bar (B27)

We're drooling just thinking of this delicious orange package of sweet yet just-that-little-bit-salty awesomeness, its layer of caramel seeping out from between the chocolate-coated mounds of peanut... OK, stop, stop. We need to go to 7-Eleven.