“The movie is like a lady who can’t choose between two suitors: the campy and fun one, or the serious and cliché one.” Grae Drake, Movies.com

“There are some early comic moments that have you laughing along with the movie, but eventually the clashing tones and preposterousness just have you laughing [at it].” Mike Hale, New York Times

“We all love a steamy pile of frivolous nonsense now and then, but it has to move quickly or we lose interest, like a joke that stops being funny.” Eric D. Snider, Film.com

“Deprived of details, Megaton expects us to subsist on action alone, but it’s not enough to fill the void left by the absence of story.” Thomas Leupp, Hollywood.com

“Possibly worth seeing if you are 13.” Nick Pinkerton, Village Voice

“Megaton blows things up, demolishes a fruit market, and throws in some parkour foot-chases as if he’s completing a checklist.” Wesley Morris, Boston Globe

“The star’s dangerously low weight is only the start of its problems.” Rob Vaux, Mania.com

Starbucks VIA: Italian Roast

B350 for a pack of 12 sachets. B29/cup
Surprisingly nice and complex: fruity and floral on the nose and pleasantly rich and bitter. It’s the stronger of the two Starbucks coffees, making it harder for all to appreciate.

Moccona Select

B99 for 180g. B1.1/cup
Ugh. It has that weird metallic taste that gives instant coffee a bad name: something between soap and burned popcorn. There’s not much going on here in terms of flavor beyond the bitterness.

Nescafe Red Cup

B63 for 100. B1.26/cup
We kept variables the same: one teaspoon of instant coffee per small cup. But despite all things being equal, this one tasted extremely watered down and gross, like sipping some dish water.

Khao Chong

B115 for 200g. B1.15/cup
Noticeably more complexity and richness than the other, non-Starbucks instant coffees in this test. The Khao Chong is chocolaty and doesn’t have that gross metallic acidity common with most of the others. If you’re looking at cost, Khao Chong is a winner in its category.

Moccona Espresso

B99 for 120g. B1.65/cup
Easily the most disgusting of the lot. Contrary to what you might expect of an instant coffee labelled “espresso”, this one lacks in both aroma and flavor.

Nescafe Red Cup Espresso

B31 for 40g. B1.5/cup
Same thing here: no body and a kind of acidic-metallic sourness. Clearly the “espresso” label both for Nescafe and Moccona suggests more one-dimensional bitterness. If you have to have them, stick to the regular variety.

Starbucks VIA: Colombia Roast

B350 for a pack of 12 sachets at Starbucks. B29/cup
Starbucks is 20 times more expensive than cheapo brands. Twenty! But clearly it should be compared to fresh drip coffee, not instant ones. It is rich and pleasantly bitter, full-bodied and has a nice, masculine spiciness to it. Unlike other instant coffees in this test, it offers a great deal more than just bitterness to cut your cream and sugar with, and can be drunk black.
What is Instant Coffee?