We're Not Ashamed

August 8th, 2008

With the Olympics finally underway, our thoughts are with our near neighbors in China. Like everyone else, we’re fascinated with their efforts to present their “right” side to the watching world by putting the residents of blue-sky Beijing through some intensive etiquette training. It’s kind of ironic; after all, one sure way of making a bad impression is to be blatantly obvious about how hard you’re trying to make a good impression. While it’s easy to laugh at the Chinese attempts to whip (not literally, you understand) their populace into shape, the question is could we really hold up to such intense media scrutiny?

Should Thailand ever host such a major event (the SEA Games don’t count), aren’t there a few things we’d prefer to keep hidden from the slavering hordes of the global press? Still we believe that with a sprinkling of PR magic dust these little blemishes can actually be turned into great big positives!

For starters, what about the ongoing protests? Yes, we’d forgotten about them too until some drunk guy crashed into them. Simple, just apply a little spin and re-label them a “living” cultural project set up to show our youngsters how their hard-fought democracy was won. Another potential nuisance is our numerous neon-lit bars filled with rather scantily clad ladies. Again, something we can turn to our advantage. Hand out some poms poms, apply some carefully positioned “Welcome to BKK stickers” and hey presto it’s the largest
official cheerleading team known to man. Plus, with their choreography-skills we could save a fortune by using them in the opening ceremony. Then there’s our slightly fractious relationship with our neighbors, but nothing a Great Wall on our Cambodian border couldn’t fix. Isn’t that what Burmese labor is for?

Finally, and perhaps most pressing, is our dear old PM, who does have a tendency to put his foot in it. Still it seems that Samak is working hard to fix this potential banana skin. Surely, his disappearing act in the toilets of a local market the other day was just the start of a rigorous training program. Tong sia will be the perfect alibi when we quietly pack him off on holiday for two weeks. After all, what self-respecting journalist would stoop as low as to hang outside a toilet just to get a glimpse of the PM?