A Warm Welcome

November 23rd, 2007

To the hundreds of scientists, businesspeople, activists and government officials who are visiting our fair metropolis to attend “Asia’s Emerging Response to Climate Change,” we would first like to apologize for using the headline to make such a crap, obvious joke. (Consider it an energy-saving measure.) Second, on behalf of our tourism industry, we would like to thank you for the boost to our hotel occupancy numbers. We have a lot of rooms to fill here in Bangkok, and, as you may have noticed on the ride in from Suwarnabhumi, we’re always building more. How was the spread at breakfast, by the way?

To be honest, this might not be the best time for you to be in Bangkok if your goal is to discuss the very real threat of global warming. The weather has been just super lately—so cool and breezy that you would almost be able to sleep with the AC off and your windows open if it weren’t for the tuk-tuks with modified mufflers, open-air karaoke and Dengue-carrying mosquitoes. Not that you could open your window, anyway.

It’s also bad timing because you’re here during Loy Kratong, one of our most important holidays but also, arguably, one of our least “green”—and the last thing we want is for you to get the wrong idea about our commitment to the environment.

Every full moon of the 12th month of our Lunar Calendar, we jettison thousands of floating candle-lit rafts onto our rivers, canals and swimming pools. On the Chao Phraya River, especially, it’s a truly amazing spectacle, hundreds of tiny flames shining through the darkness as they slowly drift toward Klong Toey. Along with the melting candles, the rafts carry away our sins, anger, fears and frustrations of the past year. Unfortunately, 2006 was particularly rough, so the rafts are not only bigger but there will be more of them.

If this sounds like an environmental nightmare, remember that Loy Kratong comes just once a year; we can assure you that the other 363 days (it takes at least 24 hours to scoop up all that foam), our waterways are so clean you can drink out of them.

Finally, we would like to remind the delegates that you are here to consider an “Asian” response to global warming. Pointing fingers or making demands of our neighbors will only result in uncomfortable silences at dinner or on the golf course, and who wants that?

Comment on our story and you could win our weekly letter prize!