Here’s the latest report from our 15-year-old international school correspondent, Pancake.

Hey guys! Oh. My. God. Is it, like, hot or what? Global warming is so, like, everywhere. It’s not just the penguins and polar bears that are suffering—it’s people, too.

Some days I even have to call my maid and tell her to turn on the air-con in my room so it will be cool by the time I get home. You’d think she could just figure it out by herself, but, no, it’s like my responsibility or something. 

Another reason global warming really sucks is because you have to, like, think about your whole day when you’re planning your outfit. Like even though Bangkok’s shopping malls are nice and cold, don’t forget about that walk through the parking lot—there’s no direct sun, but they’re not air-conditioned, either. So, these days, you want lots of cute clothes that you can layer.

Speaking of outfits, now the government is saying that military fashion is out for us “civilians.” This is because terrorists in the South are dressing up to look like soldiers and then going out and planting bombs all over the place. So we should all support our troops by not dressing in camo until Chalerm solves the problems down there.

I’m not saying that I like Chalerm or his loser sons, but all of us should be willing to make a small sacrifice for our country, like Earth Hour. I mean, I only have one army-green top, but even if camo was in fashion again, I would still do it to make sure that some of our provinces don’t become part of Malaysia or Indonesia.

But back to global warming. Now everyone is talking about how there is, like, a rice shortage. Prices have gone up, and now some poor people can’t afford rice. Instead they’ll have to eat Mama, which is deep-fried. This could lead to health problems, and this will hurt our whole economy, especially if the 30-baht healthcare plan goes up to 40 baht. So you can see how important it is to stop global warming.

Let’s all support peace in the South, everybody!