This week you will mainly die from... embarrassment caused by discoveries of dark secrets from your past. No, (for once) we’re not talking about our former prime minister, current PM or anyone whose last name rhymes with “Poobamrung”—though god knows we could. Examples abound of how the modern media machine, dirt-cheap digital storage and the internet make it increasingly difficult to keep those proverbial skeletons hidden away in your closet: just ask former US presidential hopeful John Edwards, who recently admitted to cheating on his cancer-stricken wife while on the campaign trail—with, of all people, his video biographer.

Far more intriguing is the case of the American woman whose open-mouthed joy following the successful cloning of her late pet pit bull, Booger, was broadcast round the globe from the land of kimchi and K-Pop. It seems Bernann McKinney already had her 15 minutes of fame—over three decades ago on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. “Somehow” (we have a tough time seeing the resemblance) the beaming “Bernann” was recognized as “Joyce McKinney,” the former North Carolina beauty queen who skipped bail in England after being accused of—ready?—kidnapping a Mormon missionary, shackling him to a bed with felt-lined handcuffs and making him her sex slave. At first McKinney denied the charge. Later, reminiscing, she claimed the missionary was a willing partner and pleaded with reporters not to mix that “garbage in with the puppy story.” The media: Puppies, what puppies? Fortunately for McKinney, authorities in London say the case was closed long ago. Unfortunately for McKinney, though that garbage may have been officially disposed of, it seems she has other outstanding arrest warrants in the US. Meanwhile, the Korean firm responsible for the five genetically identical puppies says that it has no plans to institute screening procedures for clients seeking to clone their pets. They might, however, want to draw up plans in the event Bernann/Joyce should decide she wants to make a copy—or five—of herself.