Songkran Strategies

April 10th, 2008

Heatstroke, gouged eyes and 361 road deaths. Here’s how to survive the fun.

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COVER STORY
Songkran Solutions

Avoid Eye Contact
This festival can be pretty rough if you aren’t prepped with the correct gear. Attention contact-lens-wearing-folk: if you ain’t into the red-eye look, put on some swim goggles. And if you’re the kind that refuses to wear those in public, at least pick up a pair of B199 sunglasses and protect those beautiful eyes.

Play Safe: Zip It!
Remember, opportunity presents itself only to those who are ready. But apart from latex, protection extends to your second-most valuable asset: your mobile phone. If you really can’t leave home without them, invest in some Ziplock bags.

Moving Objects
When it comes to moving vehicles, try to bring the splashing down a notch—especially with motorcycles. And remember, it’s not just dumb to throw water at vehicles, it’s illegal.

Respect the No’s
Even if she got hammered for the celebrations and is not putting up much of a fight, no means no. Which also applies to water sports. If, as you approach with your pail of klong water, the big haired lady brandishes a menacing finger in your direction and puckers her lips to mouth a quick, “Don’t even think about it, punk,” she could be a.) protecting her Somsak Chalachol hairdo b.) wearing contacts c.) a black belt taekwondo master who’s not in the mood for fun.

White Warning
Speaking of taekwondo, girls, if you aren’t a black belt, avoid white. You’ll have enough pervs using their din saw phong-covered-hands to feel you up as it is, no need to draw crowds by winning the wet T-shirt contest. It’s a given, when you have alcohol, water and lots of drenched people thrown in the mix, things can get a little out of hand.

Water Withdrawal
You’ll be surprised at how easy it is to forget to hydrate yourself while being soaked in water in 200% humidity. Keep a bottle of clean H2O at all times. The weather in the month of April is unforgiving.

Shady Types
Even if you drink water and wear sun block, try to stay in the shade as much as possible.

Keep Walking
Three hundred sixty one people were killed during last year’s celebrations, and 60% of the accidents were related to booze. Leave your car at home. And don’t just get into any old cab (or tuk-tuk)—you may want to give your driver a sobriety test first.