All those days off, and you still haven’t made plans. By Sonia Boonchanasukit,

illustration by Kattiya Chan-urai

That’s it, you’ve done it again. Planes and hotels are fully booked and you’re going to be stuck in deserted Bangkok. Restaurants in your street will be closed, your friends will be gone and staff at the 7-Eleven will empathize as you come in for your twice-daily purchase of mama noodles.

Before you jump under the wheels of a BTS (and uselessly delay your fellow Bangkokians), check this out: a complete guide to make sure every hour of your Songkran holiday here in the capital is packed with delicious, exciting, utterly relaxing and deeply inspiring moments.

Day One: Sat, Apr 12. Get Armed

8 am

Get yourself out of bed, put on your shorts, sunscreen and a white shirt or tank top. Make sure your pockets are filled ‘cause you’re going to need to dish out some cash to complete your shopping list for the day.

9 am

Let’s begin outdoors. Browsing the markets, you can see many new and improved Songkran “war” inventions for 2008. Our everyday markets like Chatuchak and Pratunam are well-stocked but, in this case, Khao San Road is probably your best bet. There, you’ll find everything from simple water guns to super soakers—the AK-47s of Songkran warfare. Whether you’re a morning person or not, we suggest you get there early. Please don’t be silly and wait till the sun’s directly overhead at noon.

11 am

Once you’re done shopping, take a couple hours to cool off. Chill out, have a late morning beer. And there’s plenty of grub on Khao San. Our suggestion? Pick one of the three food vendors selling pad thai off the pan for B25. It’s sort of a speciality in that area. Some even sell oily but yummy vegetarian spring rolls for B10 a piece. Once you’re done, shift locales and start your indoor shopping (bless the inventors of air con).

1 pm

Hit two birds with one stone (groceries and Songkran shopping) and head straight to a Foodland of your choice. Visit www.foodland.co.th for a list of all their branches. The Songkran stuff is usually all lined up in an area up front—think handy water gun with attached reservoir (B149). Small super soakers are B27, medium ones are B67-99 and B299 gets you a jumbo one. You can even buy yourself a couple of colorful (not to mention already inflated) beach balls to throw around on the wet streets. These go for anywhere between B59 and B95. Foodland, surprisingly, also carries cotton short-sleeved, flower-printed shirts that come in all sizes (B95-179)—the kind Thai men wear over a white undershirt.    

3 pm

If you want to beat inflation, 7-Eleven is a great place to stock up. You can get everything from sachets of din saw phong B7/sachet (soft chalk powder), good-sized plastic buckets B20/each, bottles of nam ob B20/each (scented water) and even Songkran greeting cards (B15 small, B20 big). Let’s just say a B200 budget can get you miles.

4 pm

Now, you need to shop for gear—i.e. protective gear. You obviously need some form of clothing—it’s probably smart to get yourself a bright and colorful top rather than trying for the sultry sexy look of getting drenched in white—unless you want to, of course. Besides Foodland, our cheap clothing paradises—Platinum and MBK—are oozing with B120-199 shirts befitting the occasion.

Day Two: Sun, Apr 13. Rich in Rituals

The first day of Songkran, Wan Sangkan Long, indicates the passing of the old year. This is when you bid farewell to the old year by basking in traditions and rituals with the family. We suggest you begin this day early.

8 am

Pile into your family SUV and be out of the house early enough to get to Wat Phra Kaew to begin your visit to the nine royal temples around Rattanakosin Island. There, you will be able to experience real Songkran customs from all four corners of Thailand. The nine include Wat Phra Sri Rattanasasadaram (Wat Phra Kaew of the Grand Palace), Wat Chetaphon (Wat Pho), Wat Suthat, Wat Saket, Wat Bowonniwet, Wat Chanasongkram, Wat Rakung, Wat Arun (Wat Chaeng) and Wat Kalayanamitr. This is actually an organized activity. Participants will be given a passport at each temple. Collect a stamp from all nine venues and get a chance to win a lucky prize. Tickets—B100 (adults), B50 (children)—can be bought at the Grand Palace. For more information, check with the Events Planning Division of the Tourism Authority of Thailand at 02-250-5500 ext 3470/-3, or ring the TAT call center (1672).

3 pm

If you are were to hit all nine, you certainly deserve a break. Your ­relatives will also appreciate it if you freshen up before you continue the proceedings at home.

4 pm

When it comes to family, two Songkran traditions come to mind: Song Nam Phra and Rod Nam Dam Hua. Song Nam Phra is the custom of bathing a Buddha images and pouring water on monks’ hands, which you might have done a bit of on your morning temple tour. Don’t forget what you learned in school! Step one, you make an offering: flowers, incense sticks and candles. Step two, you use the nam ob you bought yesterday at 7-Eleven and you gently pour it on the statue. (Avoid the head, you dope.)

4:30 pm

Now it’s time to pay respect to your elders. The Rod Nam Dam Hua was originally a Lanna ritual of the North but  is now practiced throughout the Kingdom. Present your elders with an array of offerings: flowers, candles, new clothes and betel nuts (a sign of respect and hospitality). Once they receive the gifts, they reciprocate by sprinkling (sometimes pouring) scented water on you.

5:30 pm

If you’re not “ritualed-out” yet, there is always the releasing of birds and/or fish. By no means unique to the Thai New Year, people buy little caged sparrows, bagged eels or catfish in plastic as a way to make merit. And with that, we conlcude our day’s proceceedings. Hit the sack early: you’re going to need your energy tomorrow.

Day Three: Mon, Apr 14. Like it Wet

9 am

D-Day has arrived! Fill up the soakers, grab the din saw phong, put on your colorful shirts and devour that energy drink cause you’re going to need it. Spend the day where the battle is the fiercest, Khao San Road. Remember, you won’t find any safe zones here. So be ready. If you’re not keen on subjecting yourself to being man-handled, then you might want to hit some of the less hardcore places like… your backyard. Or maybe you’d rather be man-handled by a different crowd: Silom Soi 4, Rambuttri Road and Patpong are all officially places to celebrate Songkran Festival 2008.

3 pm

Head home to dry off and take a two-hour nap before getting ready to party the night away. Pacing is key.

6 pm

Route 66 (RCA, 29/33-48 Rama 9 Rd., 02-203-0834) is throwing a full-on Songkran extravaganza. Join the party animals on the 14th for a continuation of the water battle in the Poom & Petjah Badboyz Water Parties.

7:30 pm

If you’re looking for a serious break from water, then head to CentralWorld for a while to join their New Year festivities in their Splashy Songkran Festival. Check out live performances by a bunch of indie bands including Moderndog and Flure. For now, catch Jetset’er in action.

10 pm

If you’re into men (pretty and bare-chested) then gCircuit invites you to join their SKII party. Dress in blue to join their showdown with Princess Ann (Ma) and Spectrum K at Fallabella (100 Ratchadamri Rd., 02-252-5131. BTS Ratchadamri). Tickets are B800, get there by 10pm! For more information visit www.gcircuit.com.

Day four: Tue, Apr 15. Renew and Rejuvenate

This day is officially known as Wan Thaloeng Sak, which signifies the beginning of the New Year. Too bad you slept half of it away. So get out of bed and get yourself to a spa for some pampering!

1 pm

For your (late) lunch, enjoy that mouthwatering summer treat and Songkran speciality, khao chae. It’s the perfect solution to the smoldering heat of Bangkok, leaving you both refreshed and satisfied all at once. Some options: ISO Restaurant (Nai Lert Park Bangkok, 2 Wireless Rd, ­02-253-0123, www.swissotel.com), Celadon (Sukhothai, 13/3 South Sathorn Rd., 02-344-8888, www.sukhothai.com), the Erawan Tea Room (Grand Hyatt Erawan Bangkok, 494 Rajdamri Rd., 02-254-6310) or Dine@7 (Majestic Grande Hotel, 12 Sukhumvit Soi 2, 02-262-2999. www.majesticgrande.com) for a traditional taste of Songkran.

3 pm

After the water fights and the partying, the body’s going to require a bit of recuperating and rejuvenating. Head to the Spa Botanica at the Sukhothai Hotel (13/3 South Sathorn Rd., 02-344-8900, open daily 9am-10pm, www.sukhothai.com) for a 90-minute Virgin Coconut face and body treatment (B3,900). The treatment uses both natural coconut oil as well as organic coconut oil fiber. Another seasonal promotion is the Botanica Body Cocktail (B3,900). Also 90 minutes, this treatment begins with a hand, foot and scalp massage followed by a brown sugar scrub. This is followed up with juicy oranges squeezed all over the body, a yogurt mask and, finally, a warm wrap. 

The middle path is the Thai New Year Package at the Tantara Spa (8/F Pathumwan Princess Hotel, 444 Phayathai Rd., www.tantaraspa.com). For B5,000/person, you can enjoy a 2.5-hour deal starting with a floral foot bath, a bergamot body scrub and wrap to cleanse your body, a sabai sabai body massage and finally a choice between a foot massage or a hydrotherapeutic bath.

Finally, the top option is to hole up in your own cottage at the Grand Hyatt’s I.Sawan Spa (5/F Grand Hyatt Erawan, 494 Rajdamri Rd., 02-254-6310). The best deal here is to go for their new membership plans. The first one, at B12,000 will give you enough vouchers to be pampered for a half-day and upgraded to one of their absolutely stunning Spa Cottages designed by Tony Chi. To spend the night there, get the Cottage Membership for B30,000. In both cases, you’ll also get plenty of vouchers and discounts to last you through the rest of 2008.