Dude, I have this great idea that will make us rich.

    What, the internet porn thing isn’t working out?

    It is, but rent in Pattaya is out of control these days. Anyway, check this out: Moving Billboards!

    What do you mean by “moving”? You mean like those pickup trucks that drive around with loudspeakers? I hate those things! I remember on Koh Samui they had this boat going up and down Hat Chaweng advertising a boxing match. Assholes. Totally killed my magic mushroom buzz.

    Well, yeah, sort of like that. But specially built cars that would be professionally painted in a nice clean color—like bright white. And no sound, just giant, high-tech boards with lots of light and rotating ads.

    How giant? Won’t they be a traffi c hazard? Are you sure these things will be street legal?

    They’ll be no bigger than a 10-wheel truck carrying pigs or illegally cut teak logs. Besides, we wouldn’t really drive them around that much, not with gas costing what it does these days. We’d just park them on the side of the road near big intersections where the traffic always backs up.

    On the side of the road? What about the cops? Or the parking mafia?

    Relax! We’ll be making so much that we can afford to pay the mafi a and the cops. We’d have to anyway, because there aren’t enough legitimate places to park—we’d need to set them up in medians, also.

    Well what if someone gets into an accident because one of the billboards is blocking their view or if someone crashes into one of those that is parked in a median? We couldn’t afford the insurance.

    Insurance? Look, every year billboards fall during big storms and a few people get killed. There’s a bit of posturing on the part of politicians, but then once the next season of Academy Fantasia starts, everyone forgets about it. Plus usually the dead people are noodle sellers or construction workers living in shacks. Their lives aren’t worth much.

    I don’t know, man. Bangkok is cluttered enough as it is without more billboards. And with “rotating ads” at that. What’s next: video?

    Video! Yeah, great idea. I knew you were the right person to talk to. Look, tonight I’m taking you out to my member club so we can celebrate our impending good fortune. Hello high life!