Dear Mr. KIA, I would like to do a Thai massage course. A genuine course, no hanky panky! I know that probably the best place for this is the weeklong course at Wat Po. I also have inquired at Health Land on Ekkamai, but they say they do their training at Pinklao. As I live on Ekkamai, these two places are quite a long way across the city. Is there any place that has a good reputation that is closer to my area? I do not want to go into the business. This is just something I have always wanted to do. Thank you for your inspiration.—Need to Knead

Dear NK: No hanky panky? Awh, then it wouldn’t be a real Thai massage would it? Just kidding. I’m just checking if the Thai Spa Association is reading this. Don’t worry, I’ll point you to respectable establishments. Mr. KIA is very serious about massages, particularly foot massages, which allows me to keep my hat on.

Pisit Thai Massage’s (35 Ekkamai 23, 02-392-5596. Open daily 9am-8pm. www.pisit-thaimassage.com) location just couldn’t be better for you, could it? Any closer than this and the course will be in your living room. B5,000 for a 60-hour training in the delicate art of traditional Thai massage.

Tiger Eyes Academy (52 Sukhumvit Soi 63, 02-714-0910. www.tiger-eyes.com) is smack on Ekkamai, again. It offers many courses to suit your needs, ranging from a 72-hour French style facial skin treatment class (B35,000) to professional waxing courses (B8,500) to the real deal, a 120-hour massage therapy training (B50,000).

Do you think you can make it all the way to Soi 26 or should they send a limo to pick you up? Phussapa Thai Massage School (25/8 Sukhumvit Soi 26, 02-204-2922/3. www.thaimassage-bangkok.com) has many courses available such as self-massage, herbal massage and reflexology. The basic massage course takes 30 hours to complete and will cost you a hefty B12,000. Ouch. Oh and once you have completed the course, you’ll receive a certificate issued by the Ministry of Education as well.