Dear Mr. KIA: My gig has asked me to drive her to Doi Suthep in Chiang Mai. That’s the good news. But my old pickup truck will never make it past Ayudthaya—it’s on the verge of a complete breakdown and so am I, nervously at least. I either need a new car right now (can you spare me the cash Mr. KIA?) or I need to rent some wheels. Come on, Mr. KIA, save my day. I promised her and I don’t want to spend the rest of the year begging and apologizing to my girl. —Broken Down and Broke

Dear BDB: People ask me for money all the time. It’s the hat. It makes me look loaded. The cigar used to help too but with the new laws I can’t even smoke it in clubs anymore, so good thing I quit. Truth is, I’m not stingy with my advice (which is worth gold) but I am with my dough. So, go rent a car, take the girl to Chiang Mai, get some action, and let’s call it a day. But, tell me something, have you ever heard of trains and planes?

P. Car Rent (1/F, Petchburee Bldg., 2371 Petchburi Rd., 02-318-8888, 02-319-7255. Open daily 8:30am-6:30pm. www.thairentacar.com) has two branches in Bangkok and another five branches nationwide. Many types of cars are available, sedans, pickups or even the convertible Mazda MX-5. B1,600 per day for Size S cars (Honda Jazz and City, Toyota Yaris and Vios) with a B24,000 deposit.

Limousine Express Group (12/F, Sukhumvit Suite Bldg., 19/118 Sukhumvit Rd., Soi 13 Wattana. 02-651-0808 [24 hours service], 02-651-3172. Open Mon-Sat 9am-5:30pm, 4pm on Sat. www.limousinethailand.com.) Just get someone to drive you while you guys fool around in the back. L.E.G offers not only the usual Benz and BMW, but Range Rover and vintage cars are also available. Starts from B5,000 per day with a driver.

Avis Rent A Car (2/12-13 Wireless Rd., 02-251-1131-2. Open daily 7:30am-6pm. www.avisthailand.com) have many models available. Five days with a Toyota Altis costs B7,500.

Budget Thailand (19/23 Bldg A., RCA, New Petchburi Rd., 02-203-9222. Open daily 7:30am-7:30pm. www.budget.co.th) has a variety of cars and trucks. Honda City and Jazz are B1,730 per day with a B20,000 credit card deposit. For KTC, Citibank and Krungsri Visa customers, promotion price is B1,596 per day (first class insurance and VAT included).