Need help on an exit strategy? See below.

1. Meetings

Raise your hand every two minutes and say, “Are we almost done—if not, can we wrap this up?”

2. Lunch Breaks

When you leave for lunch, announce that you will be gone “indefinitely.” Return 15 minutes before the end of the day.

3. Children & Pets

Screw the sitters, just bring them to work and hide them under your desk. When asked what that noise is, look your boss straight in the eye and say, “You hear it, too?”

4. Reviews

When asked what your goals are for the remainder of the year, reply, “Get off my back! What are YOUR goals, mister?”

5. Attire

Shower, put pajamas back on and go to work. Better yet, skip the shower, and show up to a regional meeting in your finest Pokemon PJs.

6. Company Outings

At the next barbeque in Lumpini Park, be sure to pinch the boss’s wife’s ass no less than two times. Make sure the big guy sees it.

7. The afternoon Dance Party

Productivity hits a low at 3pm. Why not set up your iPod speakers and invite everyone to shake their bonbons to Ricki Martin’s greatest hits?

8. Personal Days

The plan is to call your boss early in the morning and explain that due to eye trouble you will not be in today. When asked what the problem is, say, “I can’t see myself coming in.”

9. Attitude

Punch people. Hard.

10. DEATH THREATS

Leave a “kill list” in the copy machine.