“Three ministers will get sacked!” the press warned. So there we were, holding our breath, ready to watch the cabinet get torn apart by angry MPs. But Samak’s motley proxy crew didn’t look nervous, not even Foreign Minister Noppadon Patama, because they had done the math and in the end all seven ministers who faced no-confi dence motions remained standing—although the temple-trading lawyer only managed a measly 278 votes. Ouch.  

   While MPs were busy handing out A+’s to their buddies, the Assets Scrutiny Committee resorted to an even more efficient method: self-assessment. “Eight out of 10,” is what chairman Nam Yimyaem said he deserved for concluding 14 out of the 24 cases set before him. ASC member Udom Fuangfung, reading from the same script but apparently forgetting that fractions were an option, gave the panel an equivalent passing grade of “80%.” Of course no matter that 14 out of 24 on our calculator adds up to maybe a D-minus. 

   Not that we’re complaining. All this peer-review and “you know what you’re worth” stuff is great. Look what happens when people have to take exams. They stress out, they jump off buildings and, sometimes, they may even be pushed to do the unthinkable. They cheat—a hard habit to kick, even though we trust Transport Minister Santi Promphat, who was famously asked really really nicely to leave Ramkamhaeng U., is now so clean you could practically lick him.

   Letting the government decide, on its own, like grownups, if they’re doing a good job is obviously the right way to do things. Every forward thinking company does it. Some sample questions: 

1. How would you rank your origami skills? Can you make an elegant paper crane? If yes, give yourself full marks.

2. If your portfolio is concerned with questions of national sovereignty, how would you rank your “signing off swaths of territory” skills? Were you able to cut deals for a potential World Heritage site without breaking a sweat—or blushing? 10/10.

3. If you oversee economic affairs, give yourself a grade equal to the current rate of infl ation—out of 10—e.g. 8% infl ation, 8/10. 10% infl ation and above, 10/10.

4. If you’re a Transport Minister, a friend is fi lling this in for you. As the minister is too clever for this stuff, give him an automatic 10/10.