A quizzical look back at 2007

CITY LIVING

Why were clear plastic garbage cans placed around Bangkok?

a. They symbolized government transparency.
b. They symbolized the crystal clear waters of the Chao Phraya.
c. They symbolized the roof of Suvarnabhumi, but without leaks.
 d. They were part of a marketing campaign for a new credit card.

Why did Crime Suppression Division police wear Hello Kitty armbands?

a. Sponsorship deal, with the money going to the Tourism Authority of Thailand retirement fund.
b. As punishment for not following department regulations.
c. They provide protection against bullets.
d. They’re, like, totally ab-baew.

FAMILY

When questioned about his role in the Shin Corporation share deal, why did Panthongtae Shinawatra say he didn’t look at the papers before signing them?

a. He always does what his parents tell him to do.
b. His focus was on more important matters, such as his hair.
c. He thought the lawyer was just another autograph seeker.
d. Money is not important to him, and it wouldn’t matter at all if his father were but a simple, honest cop.

LEISURE & SPORT

What conclusions were drawn following the ASEAN Football Championship?

a. Referees are only human.
b. Soccer is a lot more popular in Thailand than most people realize.
c. Suphachalasai National Stadium is long overdue for an upgrade.
d. Thai athletes are second to none when it comes to diving and head-butting.

What was the title of Lt. Sunisa Lertpakawat’s pocketbook about Thaksin Shina­watra?

a. Straight Talk With Square Face
b. Speaking Frankly
c. Fit and Proper
d. Meal Ticket, Where Are You?

GOVERNMENT

What was the Council for National Security’s proudest achievement in 2007?

a. Thaksin being stripped of his red passport.
b. Cancellation of the “Thailand Unforgettable” campaign.
c. More lax enforcement of closing times.
d. Military chic.

What was the CNS’s biggest embarrassment?

a. Bombs forcing cancellation of the New Year countdown.
b. Thaksin traveling around the region at will.
c. Elephants hijacking trucks.
d. Pandas refusing to have sex.

Which of the following proposals was submitted to the cabinet?

a. Ban on using mobile phones while driving.
b. Random blocking of websites.
c. Pornography for pandas.
d. Immediate release of all champion boxer inmates.

POLITICS

Former prime ministers Banharn Silpa-Archa and Chuan Leekpai were called in to which government agency for what reason?

a. Assets Scrutiny Committee—to give statements on the Ratchadapisek land purchase case.
b. Council for National Security—for a refresher course on “Democracy.”
c. Culture Ministry—to request their cooperation in a campaign against coyote dancing.
d. National Parks Department—to pose for a Mt. Rushmore-inspired monument on Doi Suthep.

Which of the following contributed to the resurgence of Samak Sundaravej?

a. His pro-democracy credentials and high standing in the international community.
b. His cooking skills.
c. Left MySpace for Facebook. 
d. Popularity among young female journalists.

ENVIRONMENT

What was the Industrial Estate Authority of Thailand’s reason for resisting a recommendation that the Map Ta Phut Industrial Estate be declared a “pollution-control zone”?

a. A higher incidence of cancer among nearby residents doesn’t prove that the area is ­polluted.
b. It would cause damage to Thailand’s reputation as friendly to big business.
c. There wasn’t enough money in the Authority’s budget to put up all the signs.
d. “Water is supposed to be red—and smell like rotten eggs.”

Why did farmers in Nakhon Pathom publicly beat to death 1,500 piglets?

a. It was a symbolic recreation of an annual Japanese dolphin slaughter.
b. Less tiring than hunting.
c. To set a good example for their children.
d. They were angry at Singapore.

BUSINESS

Why did the Lawyers Council of Thailand consider sanctioning Thaksin advisor Noppadol Pattama?

a. He held too many press conferences.
b. They felt an Oxford graduate should not represent a client with a degree from Texas.
c. He was skipping out on pro bono work to play golf.
d. He was tarnishing the stellar reputation of lawyers by working for rich clients.

Why was the head of a well-known tutorial school admitted to a mental hospital?

a. He was seen wearing a bulletproof vest and carrying guns.
b. He had a high level of ephedrine in his body.
c. He planned to file for divorce from his wife.
d. He admitted that tutorial schools are a scam.

The biggest headache for Thai insurance companies was:

a. Policy-holders chopping off their own body parts and filing accident claims.
b. Agents accepting money from customers and then skipping town.
c. Failure to include “coups” in the list of exempted disasters.
d. Homosexuals.

CAREERS & EDUCATION

Why did Chotisak Asapaviriya resign from his position as president of Airports of Thailand in February after only eight months on the job?

a. His work was done and it was time to move on to new challenges.
b. To show responsibility for the embarrassing state of Suvarnabhumi.
c. To start a new career in the duty free industry.
d. He was mad that he didn’t get his promised cut.

After graduation, medical students who received government scholarships were told to:

a. Shut up and accept their assignments to the South.
b. Pay the government back as quickly as possible, but by working in Bangkok.
c. Open a plastic surgery clinic.
d. Get light arms training.

Why were officers working for the Council for National Security given salary increases of 30%:

a. They worked a lot of weekends.
b. They got 30 percent fatter and needed to buy new uniforms.
c. They heard Singapore was giving raises to its government officials.
d. You can’t spell “security” without m-o-n-e-y.

Former foreign minister Surakiat Sathirathai gave a speech at Harvard on:

a. “I Never Really Wanted That UN Job, Anyway”
b. “The Sufficiency Economy and Me”
c. “Coup! It Could Happen to You”
d. “Investment Opportunities in the Premier League”

TRAVEL

Travelers at Suvarnabhumi Airport experienced which of the following difficulties:

a. Foreign thieves stealing luggage.
b. Shady limousine services run by mafia.
c. Showing up for flights that were actually leaving from Don Muang.
d. Chafing.

What was the purpose of the G8 summit?

a. Gathering of the planet’s greatest trance DJs.
b. Surprise birthday party for Vladimir Putin.
c. Excuse to get away from the wives and kids.
d. Give bored riot police a chance to use their skills.

INTERNATIONAL

Why was former Malaysian prime minister Mahathir Mohamad nominated for a Nobel Prize?

a. For helping to publicize the problem of global warming.
b. For being a courageous advocate for the Third World.
c. For advancing the cause of gay rights.
d. For writing that “Malaysia Truly Asia” slogan.

Which of the following was set up by a Japanese hospital:

a. “Capsule” rooms for patients.
b. A laboratory where sushi can be tested for parasites.
c. A small window where unwanted infants can be anonymously dropped off.
d. A small window where revisionist history books can be dropped off.

What was Russia’s claim to the North Pole based on?

a. Planting a flag there.
b. Traces of vodka in the seabed.
c. Traces of polonium-210.
d. Urgent need for a new jail to house dissident journalists.

TRENDS & SOCIETY

Which of the following turned out to be a hoax?

a. International drug firm Merck agreeing to lower the price of its HIV/Aids drug Efavirenz.
b. European reality TV show in which a dying woman chose who will receive her kidney.
c. Single ticket for the Subway and Skytrain.
d. Hello Kitty Jatukams.

Which of the following people were held up as role models for Thai society?

a. Rabiabrat Pongpanich.
b. Paradorn and Natalie.
c. Amy Suriyawong.
d. Coyote dancers.

What did a leading astrologer say about Prime Minister Surayud Chulanont’s character and “round mouth”?

a. He might experience bad luck.
b. He should be especially careful during months that contain the letter “o.”
c. He should move the capital to a jungle area that no one has ever heard of.
d. He is a red-hot lover.

ETCETERA

What does the slogan “Reduce, re-use, recycle” refer to?

a. A hot new spinning class at California Wow.
b. A Chinese company selling hair bands made from used condoms.
c. “Populism” as an election platform.
d. This final exam.