CITY LIVING
Why were clear plastic garbage cans placed around Bangkok?
a. They symbolized government transparency.
b. They symbolized the crystal clear waters of the Chao Phraya.
c. They symbolized the roof of Suvarnabhumi, but without leaks.
d. They were part of a marketing campaign for a new credit card.
Why did Crime Suppression Division police wear Hello Kitty armbands?
a. Sponsorship deal, with the money going to the Tourism Authority of Thailand retirement fund.
b. As punishment for not following department regulations.
c. They provide protection against bullets.
d. They’re, like, totally ab-baew.
FAMILY
When questioned about his role in the Shin Corporation share deal, why did Panthongtae Shinawatra say he didn’t look at the papers before signing them?
a. He always does what his parents tell him to do.
b. His focus was on more important matters, such as his hair.
c. He thought the lawyer was just another autograph seeker.
d. Money is not important to him, and it wouldn’t matter at all if his father were but a simple, honest cop.
LEISURE & SPORT
What conclusions were drawn following the ASEAN Football Championship?
a. Referees are only human.
b. Soccer is a lot more popular in Thailand than most people realize.
c. Suphachalasai National Stadium is long overdue for an upgrade.
d. Thai athletes are second to none when it comes to diving and head-butting.
What was the title of Lt. Sunisa Lertpakawat’s pocketbook about Thaksin Shinawatra?
a. Straight Talk With Square Face
b. Speaking Frankly
c. Fit and Proper
d. Meal Ticket, Where Are You?
GOVERNMENT
What was the Council for National Security’s proudest achievement in 2007?
a. Thaksin being stripped of his red passport.
b. Cancellation of the “Thailand Unforgettable” campaign.
c. More lax enforcement of closing times.
d. Military chic.
What was the CNS’s biggest embarrassment?
a. Bombs forcing cancellation of the New Year countdown.
b. Thaksin traveling around the region at will.
c. Elephants hijacking trucks.
d. Pandas refusing to have sex.
Which of the following proposals was submitted to the cabinet?
a. Ban on using mobile phones while driving.
b. Random blocking of websites.
c. Pornography for pandas.
d. Immediate release of all champion boxer inmates.
POLITICS
Former prime ministers Banharn Silpa-Archa and Chuan Leekpai were called in to which government agency for what reason?
a. Assets Scrutiny Committee—to give statements on the Ratchadapisek land purchase case.
b. Council for National Security—for a refresher course on “Democracy.”
c. Culture Ministry—to request their cooperation in a campaign against coyote dancing.
d. National Parks Department—to pose for a Mt. Rushmore-inspired monument on Doi Suthep.
Which of the following contributed to the resurgence of Samak Sundaravej?
a. His pro-democracy credentials and high standing in the international community.
b. His cooking skills.
c. Left MySpace for Facebook.
d. Popularity among young female journalists.
ENVIRONMENT
What was the Industrial Estate Authority of Thailand’s reason for resisting a recommendation that the Map Ta Phut Industrial Estate be declared a “pollution-control zone”?
a. A higher incidence of cancer among nearby residents doesn’t prove that the area is polluted.
b. It would cause damage to Thailand’s reputation as friendly to big business.
c. There wasn’t enough money in the Authority’s budget to put up all the signs.
d. “Water is supposed to be red—and smell like rotten eggs.”
Why did farmers in Nakhon Pathom publicly beat to death 1,500 piglets?
a. It was a symbolic recreation of an annual Japanese dolphin slaughter.
b. Less tiring than hunting.
c. To set a good example for their children.
d. They were angry at Singapore.
BUSINESS
Why did the Lawyers Council of Thailand consider sanctioning Thaksin advisor Noppadol Pattama?
a. He held too many press conferences.
b. They felt an Oxford graduate should not represent a client with a degree from Texas.
c. He was skipping out on pro bono work to play golf.
d. He was tarnishing the stellar reputation of lawyers by working for rich clients.
Why was the head of a well-known tutorial school admitted to a mental hospital?
a. He was seen wearing a bulletproof vest and carrying guns.
b. He had a high level of ephedrine in his body.
c. He planned to file for divorce from his wife.
d. He admitted that tutorial schools are a scam.
The biggest headache for Thai insurance companies was:
a. Policy-holders chopping off their own body parts and filing accident claims.
b. Agents accepting money from customers and then skipping town.
c. Failure to include “coups” in the list of exempted disasters.
d. Homosexuals.
CAREERS & EDUCATION
Why did Chotisak Asapaviriya resign from his position as president of Airports of Thailand in February after only eight months on the job?
a. His work was done and it was time to move on to new challenges.
b. To show responsibility for the embarrassing state of Suvarnabhumi.
c. To start a new career in the duty free industry.
d. He was mad that he didn’t get his promised cut.
After graduation, medical students who received government scholarships were told to:
a. Shut up and accept their assignments to the South.
b. Pay the government back as quickly as possible, but by working in Bangkok.
c. Open a plastic surgery clinic.
d. Get light arms training.
Why were officers working for the Council for National Security given salary increases of 30%:
a. They worked a lot of weekends.
b. They got 30 percent fatter and needed to buy new uniforms.
c. They heard Singapore was giving raises to its government officials.
d. You can’t spell “security” without m-o-n-e-y.
Former foreign minister Surakiat Sathirathai gave a speech at Harvard on:
a. “I Never Really Wanted That UN Job, Anyway”
b. “The Sufficiency Economy and Me”
c. “Coup! It Could Happen to You”
d. “Investment Opportunities in the Premier League”
TRAVEL
Travelers at Suvarnabhumi Airport experienced which of the following difficulties:
a. Foreign thieves stealing luggage.
b. Shady limousine services run by mafia.
c. Showing up for flights that were actually leaving from Don Muang.
d. Chafing.
What was the purpose of the G8 summit?
a. Gathering of the planet’s greatest trance DJs.
b. Surprise birthday party for Vladimir Putin.
c. Excuse to get away from the wives and kids.
d. Give bored riot police a chance to use their skills.
INTERNATIONAL
Why was former Malaysian prime minister Mahathir Mohamad nominated for a Nobel Prize?
a. For helping to publicize the problem of global warming.
b. For being a courageous advocate for the Third World.
c. For advancing the cause of gay rights.
d. For writing that “Malaysia Truly Asia” slogan.
Which of the following was set up by a Japanese hospital:
a. “Capsule” rooms for patients.
b. A laboratory where sushi can be tested for parasites.
c. A small window where unwanted infants can be anonymously dropped off.
d. A small window where revisionist history books can be dropped off.
What was Russia’s claim to the North Pole based on?
a. Planting a flag there.
b. Traces of vodka in the seabed.
c. Traces of polonium-210.
d. Urgent need for a new jail to house dissident journalists.
TRENDS & SOCIETY
Which of the following turned out to be a hoax?
a. International drug firm Merck agreeing to lower the price of its HIV/Aids drug Efavirenz.
b. European reality TV show in which a dying woman chose who will receive her kidney.
c. Single ticket for the Subway and Skytrain.
d. Hello Kitty Jatukams.
Which of the following people were held up as role models for Thai society?
a. Rabiabrat Pongpanich.
b. Paradorn and Natalie.
c. Amy Suriyawong.
d. Coyote dancers.
What did a leading astrologer say about Prime Minister Surayud Chulanont’s character and “round mouth”?
a. He might experience bad luck.
b. He should be especially careful during months that contain the letter “o.”
c. He should move the capital to a jungle area that no one has ever heard of.
d. He is a red-hot lover.
ETCETERA
What does the slogan “Reduce, re-use, recycle” refer to?
a. A hot new spinning class at California Wow.
b. A Chinese company selling hair bands made from used condoms.
c. “Populism” as an election platform.
d. This final exam.
What Should Have Happened in 2007
Last year, we rounded up four fortunetellers (Khata Chinbunchon, Meen the Tarot, Mohr “J” Phranakorn and Mettawan) and asked them what 2007 would have in store for us. Highlights:
THE ELECTION
Will Thaksin come back in 2007?
Khata, Meen: Yes
J: Yes, in July 2007
Mettawan: (not clear)
Accuracy: 0%
Will TRT and the Democrats be dissolved?
Khata: 90-100% chance the TRT will. Democrats won’t.
Meen, J: (not clear)
Mettawan: No.
Accuracy: 12%
Somkid Jatusri-pitak as PM?
Katta, J: (didn’t answer)
Mettawan, J: No.
Accuracy: 100%
Abhisit as PM?
Khata: No, but the next PM will be from the Democrat Party.
Meen, Mettawan: No
J: Didn’t answer
Accuracy: We’ll soon find out, won’t we!
The baht
Khata, J: Drop in Jan. Rise in Feb-Mar. Drop during May-Jul.
Meen: Drop from Jan-Jul. Rise from Jul-Dec.
Mettawan: No increase.
Accuracy: 0%
Verdict: With a near 90% failure rate, it’s pretty clear listening to a fortuneteller doesn’t yield results as good as flipping a coin, which can correctly predict the outcome of any yes/no question at least 50% of the time. And at an hourly rate of B1,400/hour, Khata doesn’t really deliver 4 times the accuracy of his cheaper colleagues, who charge B300-500/hour.
BK Awards and Eww-wards
The absolute best, and worst, of 2007
BEST
Best Movie
Alone, for combining psychological sensitivity and sheer entertainment.
Best Actor/-ress
Ananda Averingham: hot, can act, went to Cannes.
Best Food Trend
Tacos.
Best New Addiction
Krathom mixed with cough syrup.
Best Fashion Trend
The return of looser-leg jeans, at last.
Best New Haircut
No hair. Hair is so 2007.
Best New Way to Hang Out
Gambling at home. Run up some debts and your alcohol problem will be the least of your worries.
Best Album
Tales by Flure
Best Ringtone
You still use a phone?
WORST
Worst Movie
If it’s Thai, had a ghost, and wasn’t Alone, then it sucked.
Worst Actor/-ress
Everyone who acted in a Poj Arnon movie in 2007 deserves to be slapped.
Worst Food Trend
Tapas, fusion, and, worst of all, fusion tapas.
Worst New Addiction
Krathom mixed with detergent.
Worst Fashion Trend
It’s a tie between legwarmers for the arms, emo and frills.
Worst New Haircut
New mullets. Because they’re still mullets.
Worst New Way to Hang Out
Dark, crowded, cavernous mega-clubs packed with tons of other people you don’t know.
Worst Album
Sorry Bird Thonghai, but radios played those songs way too much.
Worst Ringtone
Anything Korean.
What’s your most memorable moment from 2007?
Manit Sriwanichpoom, artist and activist
“I would say it was when Samak became PPP leader. It’s surprising that a politician who supported the October massacre can survive to this day. Maybe if the massacre was in textbooks, politicians like Samak wouldn’t still be around.”
Peet Peera, singer
“I have many memorable moments from 2007 because this year I did many things for the first time: my first solo album, founding a record company, acting in my first TV series and finding my first true love that makes me want to get married for the first time.”
Kratae, actress
“Buying my mother a new house with my own money. ”
Natapol Srichomkwan, singer/producer
“For me, it’s the deep bond between Thais and our beloved King, which is especially obvious this year. I believe that we all have seen lots of movies about angels and gods, but we never see them in real life. But all of those virtues exist in the King and he is a living god himself. ”
Tuantong Niyomchart, guitarist
“It was in January, when I had a concert at Barfly, in London. It’s the center of the whole Britpop scene and one of the places where every musician dreams to perform. I’ll remember the concert till the last day of my life.”
Pen-Ek Rattanaruang, director
“My most memorable moment can’t be printed.”
Nicky Tongpiam, VJ
“It was on Dec 5. I woke up to help my mom dress up for the big event at the grand palace. I wasn’t there; I just saw it on TV but I felt like I was part of the celebrations.”
Jetsada Tangtrakulwong, artist
“It was in March, when I went on a roadtrip from Luang Prabang to Mahasarakam. It took me 16 hours, but for me it seemed almost like a week. Despite the stunning views along the roads, it was more like torture. I couldn’t sleep and suffered the worst condition for a journey; I had diarrhea. At least, it taught me to enjoy a simple thing in life—good health.”
Maitree Siriboon, artist
“The most memorable moment for me was my graduation ceremony. I waited for that day a long time. But, unlike high school graduation, there was no proper farewell with friends. I hate abrupt endings. But it also marked the beginning of my working life, after such a long time studying, and my parents were very happy.”
Note Dude/Sweet, DJ, party organizer
“It’s when I watched Joey Aphichatpong’s Syndrome and a Century. I waited for so long to see it. One reason was that one of my Dude/Sweet friends played in the movie as the cop, which is a main character. It’s a great film that was censored for the silliest reasons. The more I understand the censorship department and the ministry of culture, the more I see how outdated and dictating they are. I can only sigh and wait to die and be reincarnated for two lives before we get an advanced film industry. In the meantime, people can keep watching those ghost movies.”
Ladda Thangsupachai, director of the Culture Ministry’s Culture Surveillance Center
“The memorable things in the year 2007 for me are the Thai people celebrating HM the King’s 80th Birthday Anniversary. Throughout his reign, he has devoted himself to our well being and proved himself to be the most beloved king in the whole world. The other thing is the cooperation between government and related sectors in bringing out a rating system for television in order to protect the interest of children and youth and maintaining the good culture and moral of the Thai society.”
Sakul Intakul, florist
”When I saw sakura trees blooming for the first time. Especially when they were blown by the wind. The moment when sakura petals were floating in the air was amazingly beautiful and I would love to freeze that instant. Somehow it looked like butterflies.”
Zcongklod Bangyikhan, editor
”When my eco-pocketbook Ton Mai Tai Lok finally came out. It took me six stressful months to finish the book as misfortunes came about at almost every step of the process. My art director’s house caught fire, my staff were sick and one person I contacted to write the foreword had their computer stolen.”
