Don’t get left behind. A slacker’s guide to reaching the Olympics. By Jude Blanchette

And the Gold for procrastination goes to... you! Human nature being what it is, chances are that those of you reading this article have not yet scored your Olympic tickets. Things have gotten in the way: thinking about going to the gym, taking showers, watching episodes of Desperate Housewives, etc. There comes a point when all slacking off must come to an end. With Beijing hotel prices skyrocketing, chances are you’ve already missed out on most of the accommodation. Thankfully, it is still possible to pull off a trip to the Olympics. Here’s how.

Tickets

In total, more than seven million tickets will go on sale for the Games, with 75 percent of these reserved for sale within China. Those out of China, like us, wait until April, when Olympic tickets go on sale to the general public. Of course, most of the better events will have already been snatched up, such as canoeing. Tickets can be purchased online at www.tickets.beijing2008.cn.

Daniel Li, the managing director of Beijing Xinhua International Tours, says there are no inside tips to scoring tickets. Indeed, his company will be waiting until the April general sale to get theirs. “It may be the case,” he says, “that we will only be able to get tickets to events that have not been selling like hotdogs [sic].” Oodles of tickets have been given out to corporate sponsors and companies doing business with the Olympics. This is always delicate, however, as it’s patently obvious to anyone you call to score tickets that you’re just using them. Still, how much do you want to go to the Olympics? Start buttering up that big Coca-Cola contact now...

Lodging

At this point, most of the good, cheap hotel rooms have been snatched up. If you’re lazy about booking hotels, you can use the big websites, such as Hotels.com and Expedia.com, but the rooms they’re offering are large and expensive. (A hotel room we know was going for B4,421 a few months ago, checking back, has now gone up to B35,368). Vicki Sun of www.Olympictour2008.com says that while hotels are gradually filling up, “you can still find some deals.” Her company works to get visitors into a hotel they can afford.

To many full-time Beijing residents, the thought of millions of tourists descending upon the city lacks appeal. Thankfully for you, these residents are hungry to make a buck, and many are offering up their apartments or houses for rent. Craigslist (http://beijing.craigslist.com.cn) is a good place to start—but also check out online forums, such as www.beijingcommunity.com. Of course, dealing with individuals who are not branded hotels adds uncertainty, so those who are completely risk averse should have back-up plans.

While we can’t verify the safety of sleeping on the couch of perfect strangers, or of entrusting yourself to a stranger as a host, CouchSurfing.com has created an international community of vagabonds who roam the world staying at apartments and houses. Once you’re registered on the website, you can find individuals willing to put you up in Beijing and arrange to stay there for the duration of the Games.

Travel

Currently, there are a few deals out there for flights to Beijing. China Southern Airlines (02-677-7388, www.flychinasouthern.com) tickets during the Olympics are around B18,255 while China Eastern Airlines (02-636-6958, www.flychinaeastern.com) tickets are going for B22,900. Prices at THAI Airways (02-356-1111, www.thaiair.com) are quite similar at B22,550. This doesn’t mean there’s much breathing room for booking a ticket. Flight rates are expected to take off (get it?) after the general sale of Olympic tickets takes place in April so delaying is not an option.